My anaconda don’t
My anaconda don’t
My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun.


My anaconda don’t
My anaconda don’t
My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun.

help me win this contest please!



hey guys i know this is really annoying but please help me win this contest for my show in tampa.

if i win i swear i will write a however long fic with any kinks or anything that you guys want. i will write personal ficlets even to whoever wants just please please please try to help me win! -Maria

i will literally follow everyone who reblogs this and i will honestly write everyone who votes a fan fiction of their choosing if i win. honestly if i win this i will suck your ass if you want. please just click on the link or reblog!! -maria

What’s all this stuff on tumblr about Sam Pepper?


Want to fill yourself in? 

Here are a few of his videos:

Fake Hand Ass Pinch Prank 
(where he goes around grabbing women’s asses without any consent, where they are clearly unhappy with it. [Posted Sept. 20, 2014])

How to Make Out with Strangers | Sam Pepper 
(Arguably forcing girls to make out with him on camera. [Posted June. 27, 2013])

How to get a Girlfriend EASY 
(HANDCUFFS himself to female strangers - the girl at 2:20 is AMAZING. [Posted Jan. 8, 2014])

How to Pick Up Girls With A Lasso
(wraps a rope around women and makes them make out with him or give him their phone number before letting them go. [Posted June. 22, 2014])

In several cases, he restrains women and makes them make out with him before he lets go.

This isn’t a one time thing. A number of his “pranks” are taking advantage of and demeaning women.

I am so REPULSED from watching these videos.

He has 2,401,650 subscribers on youtube. It’s disgusting that that number of people think this is okay.

Endless Love

Sequel to The Hockey Player and The ballerina

Warnings: Mentions of Infertility and Abortion

Word count: 8K

Summary: Louis is a liar and Harry leaves when things get hard.

Louis decides to learn to tell the truth and not hide secrets.

Harry decides to stop leaving when things get hard.

But when Louis and Harry find out something Louis lost and could no longer have anymore Harry becomes distant.

Louis blames it on himself but it’s not what he thinks it is.

Anonymous asked:
HL 3, stripper au: Adorable Harry works at the local bakery where Louis comes in sometimes & one night while attending a bachelor party for one of his friends at a gay strip club, Louis sees Cutie Harry poledancing/stripping onstage! stuff ensues?



(theres smut in this one obvs. just rutting and coming in pants though. and lots of hair kink WILD)

Read More

Sail Across Me

By Your Side (That's Where I Have To Be)

Rating: Explicit 

Words: 9,334

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: “What is it like then, Louis?’ Harry asks, voice quiet and eyes dark “why’d you come to tell me?”

It’s a good question. Louis’s not even sure what he’s feeling, really. The man who gave him half his genetic coding is brain-dead on a slab somewhere and he’s standing in his… In Harry’s hotel room with no idea what he’s supposed to be thinking or doing.

Or, in which Louis’s bio-dad dies suddenly and Louis and Harry have a lot of baggage.

long hair don't care for blahblah


Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 20,044

Warnings: None applied

Summary: He catches his breath and stands, brushing dirt off of his breeches when he hears a scared peep behind him. Louis spins around, startled, and is greeted by the sight of an extremely pale boy with extremely luscious dark brown curls. His hand starts to reach out involuntarily to try and pet his hair, but he stops it quickly and tries to smooth it into a bow. He glances up, fluttering his lashes, and levels the trembling boy with a charming smile.

“Hi,” he drawls. He doesn’t see the frying pan until it’s too late. Everything goes black.

[harry is sheltered and louis is a thief. or, a tangled au.]


actually really happy with how this turned out!

hope you like it as well c:  


Louis “Draw me like one of your french girls”




amaryllis | harry/louis | 146 800 words

"Where are we?"
"Um. A little while out of London?" Niall tries, seemingly the only one willing to not be mysterious and provide Harry with information, and. Oh. 
"London London? As in, the capital of England London?” he asks, just in case he’d misheard. 
"No, the other London," Louis laughs, low and biting. He comes closer finally, the moonlight just enough to reveal a sharp-cut jaw and pale skin. "Sorry, Pup."
Nobody’s ever called Harry a “pup”. Frankly, he finds it quite insulting, but he lets it slide to try and comprehend his current crisis.

or the one where harry gets bitten by a werewolf. louis is the mysterious not-quite alpha, liam and zayn have Things going on, niall is their token human, and together, they watch a lot of tv.

+ playlist

65/? + An Ordinary Moment for An Extraordinary Pair